Thursday, December 19, 2013

decisions..decisions

So, I'm back home.
Financially, I'm overwhelmed. I know my parents didn't take all of the money I've spent over this past semester out of my account. I still have a substantial amount of money in the account, which should not exist. Bruce's didn't give me any hours this week, and I'm worried that it will be the same next week. I really want to spend this summer in Alaska, but I don't know if I'll find a job and I don't know where I will live and as much as Alaska makes me happy and gives me a sense of independence, I feel constantly reminded by how much I depend on my parents to transfer money around for me. I try to tell myself that I'm only 21 years-old, I'm still in school full-time, it's okay to depend on your parents, it's okay to ask for money. But then again, my parents weren't depending on anyone when they were my age, I'm pretty sure they moved into a house together and both worked full-time jobs. 

Now I'm talking about my financial situation with my parents. Essentially..I owe money.
Anyways..here are some photos of my break so far..

GPA: 3.78
Kristina & I reunited at last!
The boy that breaks my heart every time I see his eyes..
My girl, Magdirl
My person
This is where I spend all of my time..honestly..you can find me at Bruce's everyday..it's sad.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

more adventures..

Driving up to Eaglecrest
Skinning Up..well I'm hiking up.
Nate and Miles taking off their skins..
I fell so many times, I was pretty use to hitting the ground at this point..

Sunday, December 8, 2013

skinning up..

Just some photos that Gutschi got of me skinning up the mountain.

Nate & I
Nate let me borrow his skis to practice skinning up
I kept sliding back down the steep slope so I ended up having to zig-zag my way up
:)

oh..just a little light skiing

I went skiing today. And even though it was hard and mostly type II fun, that feeling that you get of just flying over the snow in a straight line is simply perfect. I'm so stoked to go again. For now..I'll leave you with just a few photos of my day. Anna Gutschi got a few good shots of me though and I'll include those in a later post! Oh, and I have a surprise.

Stausi
"The Gutsch" aka Coach
Nate & Gutschi
classy I know..









SURPRISE!!

Saturday, December 7, 2013

one week left..

I said it. For the first time since arriving in Alaska I said, I'm ready to go home. I'm sorry for writing this, I know my family and friends want me to come home very much and I apologize if this post makes you a little sad. To be honest, I really do love it here, yesterday was just a bad day. I had plans and they fell through and a series of events just made me upset so I broke down and just felt that if I was home, that this wouldn't have happened. But bad days are everywhere. You can't avoid them. So yeah, yesterday was a bad day, but today was better.

There are two things I miss very much though, and although I try to satisfy my need, it's never enough. I miss Maggie (my dog) and dancing. Whenever I see a dog, I think the owner feels as though I might try and kidnap it! I definitely got some good dog loving today, but again, I can't wait to see my Mag-dirl! And dance, well, BAM is having their performance this weekend which is probably the most exciting thing I do all year. I love my BAMily, I love dancing and feeling the nerves right before you go out on stage. I love working all year on a project and finally being able to share it with the people you care about. Other than this blog I haven't really been able to share anything with the people I care about, dance was always something I could offer.

I want to share all of the photos I've been taking, but unfortunately I have a surprise for many people back home, so you'll just have to wait and see!
One week left!

Sunset over Auke Bay
Gage & I smooching
Sunset on The Towers with a reflection in Montana Creek

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

what do you love?

So, unfortunately I don't have anything new to report. I received two letters, one from Mam and one from Kristina, I'll be responding to them later tonight or tomorrow. I'll be home in less than two weeks and I can tell that my family is really, very excited. I'm excited to come home and to see my family and a few close friends. Other than that, I'm kinda ambivalent about leaving Alaska. I don't care that Alaska has a high alcoholic population, I don't care that they have the highest suicide rate than any other state, I don't care that the weather is cold or that there's little sunlight here in the winter, I don't care that I'm far from home. I like it here, I like that drama and gossip isn't everyone's main focus, I like watching people live for more than just what is posted on Facebook, tumblr, Instagram, I like looking outdoors and seeing mountains overwhelm my senses and make me feel humble, I like the feeling of cold crisp air on my lips, I like being surrounded by other people who are creating new goals and dreams every single day. I don't care if people think that hiking isn't a career, or that the people I've surrounded myself with make close to nothing, at least the people I surround myself with have something to live for, something that gets them out of bed in the morning and gives them that drive, I live to have a focus and passion and to follow it, maybe not to the end, but at least I'm doing what I love.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

14 days.. :)


just some of my thanksgiving..

Thanksgiving was wonderful. I actually attended two thanksgivings, and thankfully didn't gorge myself too much! I'm so happy that I was able to spend this past semester with so many truly fantastic friends. I've met so many people across so many cultural backgrounds, I've had a few difficult times and definitely a few different experiences, but overall, I'm happy I made this decision. I thought I came to Alaska to get away from people, to get away from the drama, to get away from the monotonous grind, but I think I was actually running towards something, something much grander that I could even imagine. I've found a person inside of me that I really like and can live with, I hope when I come home that this person doesn't disappear, and I hope everyone else will like her. :)

our thanksgiving feast!

Mat's delicious turkey!

Homemade sangria :)

Homemade cranberry sauce!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

happy thanksgiving!

What are you thankful for?
I'm thankful for the amazing experience that I've had since arriving in Juneau just a few months ago.
I'm thankful for meeting some of the greatest people and finding such true friends.
I'm thankful that I will have the opportunity to spend this Thanksgiving with these friends.
And even though I am a little sad that I won't be with my family this year, I've found another family that I hope to never forget. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 25, 2013

dan moller cabin :)

Here are just a few photos of the weekend in no particular order..enjoy!

in front of the cabin getting ready to head back home.
(Back) Josh, Claire, Flo, Gutschi, Max, Stausi, Emma, Julie
(Front) Schyler, Me, Coco & Mat

in front of the cabin :)

Stausi & I hiking up in our snowshoes!

Mat, Stausi, CoCo & I

Dan Moller Cabin

The view from the upstairs balcony

CoCo & I

what a view :)

Flo, Gutschi & Stausi

The infamous snow angel woman!

Josh, Mat & I

such a beautiful weekend..


Friday, November 22, 2013

home :)

Of course I'm going to come home and see my family. But Alaska is starting to feel more and more a lot like home. We got over a foot of snow in less than 24 hours. A true winter wonderland. Tomorrow we are hiking up to Dan Moller cabin and having a party. I'm so excited. We went to the bar last night and had the time of our lives. I skipped class for the first time today, to be honest, it didn't feel very exciting. I was slightly anxious but I skipped to see Stausi, Gutschi and Flo's presentation. I can't wait until I can get to Europe and go to all of the places they pointed out in there presentation. Maybe Oktoberfest 2014 Munich, Germany. Next Le Mans, France Summer 2015 as well as England. Maybe Graz, Austria to summit a few peaks. Who knows…
walking to class
the path to campus
can't wait to trade in the extra tuffs for some ski boots
winter wonderland
girls night out at rendezvous :) with Emma, CoCo & Stausi
Stausi as Caesar!
CoCo
Emma & I
Stausi & CoCo
the night got a little weird
i don't know what it is about the violin..but it is just so beautiful
Nate on violin, bartender singing, nice guy who drove us home on the guitar :)
Home.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

the TRUE alaskan experience

I just am having the worst time keeping up with these blog posts. It's not that I don't have the time to be posting on the blog daily. I'm just slowly losing interest I guess. It's much easier to write to an audience when I'm being asked questions and I am able to reply to those questions. Unfortunately no one comments on my posts except my parents and I talk to them almost everyday so the only thing they are getting out of my blog are the pretty photos that I post. So let me rewind a bit and let people in on my weekend. But first I'd love it if you had this nice soundtrack playing in the background. So please make sure the volume is up on your computer and I'll give you the scoop on what I believe to be the true Alaskan experience. Please click All the Little Lights by Passenger for music!

So this is me just sitting on my couch listening to Passenger's All the Little Lights album. I just got back from my professor's house, he invited my whole class over to watch the movie Gidget, it's this old movie based on this girl who tries to make it as a surfer. Of course the movie was made in 1959, so not only are the effects awful, but the whole story is based around her trying to become a "woman" and how she can't really become a woman until she finds a man. Thankfully women have come a long way within the outdoor industry and aren't solely participating in outdoor recreational sports for the sake of finding a man to complete her. Although I believe that women have come a long way in trying to make a name for themselves in this difficult and highly competitive outdoor industry, I can't help but feel like I'm incapable. I definitely feel held back compared to the rest of the guys within my class. We read this article not to long ago about how women always second guess their abilities and how we usually think before they jump and how we don't use our whole bodies when trying to accomplish a task, we only use a portion of what we are capable of. I hope I can get over this fear of getting hurt, and I hope I'm able to become great at something while I'm here. I'm tired of being an average dancer or an average rugby player. I want to be a badass skier, I want to say I've conquered mountains, I want to stand more than a mile above sea level, I want to live in a tent just to prove that I don't need much to survive, I want to prove myself as more than a woman in the outdoor industry, I want to change peoples lives..and hopefully someday I will. :)

So this weekend started on Thursday night for me. Flo, Stausi, Gutschi and I decided to have a sort of girls night out. We went to the movies to see a ski film called Valhalla, it was pretty good but it didn't contain that much actual skiing. Many ODS students attended and get this, it was a BYOB event. That's kind of what I love about Juneau, you would never find yourself at a movie with a bunch of your friends, your professor sitting a few rows behind you, drinking beer and enjoying a film inspiring you to follow your passions. It was a good night. After the film we went to a bar called Rendezvous, we watched Nate Wiley and Adam Wood perform. Nate plays the violin and Adam plays the guitar and writes the music. Man, they were incredible, I can't wait to see them play again! After they got tired of playing song after song.
They took a break around midnight and Stausi decided to give it a go. Ha, she is so funny sometimes. She had to make sure the chords were right on the guitar or something so she borrowed someone's guitar and went into the bathroom in order for it to be quiet enough to make the necessary adjustments. I couldn't help but get a photo of her! I'll also include the video of the song that she preformed. It's a German song that she wrote herself. It's called Körperwärme, and it's about body heat. A song about hypothermia is in the works! I know the entire chorus of Körperwärme which is kind of funny seeing as my German sucks, but anyways enjoy the video and you will be able get a quick glimpse of Adam (tank top and tattooed guy in the back) and Nate (adjusting the microphone) in the film!

Friday was pretty relaxing. I didn't have any real serious plans. I ended up hanging out with some friends and watching a movie until we caught word that the northern lights were out. Then we crammed ten people into a five passenger car and drove do the Mendenhall Glacier. We weren't actually on the glacier, we parked in the visitor parking lot and walked along the beach towards the glacier. The lake seemed to have frozen over quite a bit since I lasted visited. It was a beautiful night though, the sky was clear, the stars were out, it was the night before the full moon and I was surrounded by friends. I wore my black diamond jacket which makes me look like a green marshmallow, but I promise I was the warmest one there. I ended up laying down on the beach and just staring at the stars for hours. With the full moon reflecting on the snow, the whole world lit up. While everyone else decided to break away the ice and attempted to lift these massive ice blocks and throw them onto the ice watching them break into a thousand pieces. Unfortunately the northern lights weren't out for very long and we never go to see them. But it was still a spectacular night and I can't wait to sleep under the stars this summer.


Saturday morning CoCo, Emma and I went for a trip downtown, another girls day. ;) Although I miss going out on outings and getting all of that experience that will be necessary in order for me to become that specialized mountaineer or badass skier, it was kind of relaxing to just walk around downtown and not have to be bushwhacking for hours or carrying fifty pounds of weight on my back. I was able to get nearly all of my Christmas shopping done, other than mum & dad, which was a relief!


Last night I ended up going back downtown after our shopping trip. Unfortunately the bar scene is already getting a little old for me. I love dancing and I love listening to Nate and Adam perform. But man, alcohol is expensive! I think I'm just going to make Thursday night be my bar scene night, the rest of the weekend I can devote to snowshoeing up McGinnis, walking on the Mendenhall Glacier or learning how to ski. :)

I'd now like to conclude this very long post by just letting a few people know that I've finally responded to your letters! Katie Voynik, Ali Howe & Kristina Phomvongsa, make sure to be checking your mail by the end of this week! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to reply, but I'm just so anxious to come home and I have a lot of final projects going on right now so my time will continue to be limited for the rest of the semester. Oh, and I'd like to remind everyone yet again. December 14th, 26 days from now, meet at All Stars at 8pm. The more the merrier, I can't wait to see everyone and hear all about all the wonderful things that I missed, and I can't wait to tell you all about my new life!

I could get use to looking at a view like this every morning. :)
The True Alaskan Experience: it's not about seeing the northern lights, experiencing that first snow fall or taking the prettiest pictures of the prettiest views. It's about getting dirty, it's about getting lost and having to find your way back, it's about making some of your biggest mistakes and forgiving yourself afterwards, it's about accepting everything that Alaska has to offer and feeling humble by simply being in its presence, it's about understanding how dangerous this world is and realizing that you're only human. I wouldn't say that I've had the true Alaskan experience, yet, but I'm certainly close.