decisions..decisions

So, I'm back home.

Financially, I'm overwhelmed. I know my parents didn't take all of the money I've spent over this past semester out of my account. I still have a substantial amount of money in the account, which should not exist. Bruce's didn't give me any hours this week, and I'm worried that it will be the same next week. I really want to spend this summer in Alaska, but I don't know if I'll find a job and I don't know where I will live and as much as Alaska makes me happy and gives me a sense of independence, I feel constantly reminded by how much I depend on my parents to transfer money around for me. I try to tell myself that I'm only 21 years-old, I'm still in school full-time, it's okay to depend on your parents, it's okay to ask for money. But then again, my parents weren't depending on anyone when they were my age, I'm pretty sure they moved into a house together and both worked full-time jobs. 

Now I'm talking about my financial situation with my parents. Essentially..I owe money.

Anyways..here are some photos of my break so far..

GPA: 3.78

Kristina & I reunited at last!

The boy that breaks my heart every time I see his eyes..

My girl, Magdirl

My person

This is where I spend all of my time..honestly..you can find me at Bruce's everyday..it's sad.

more adventures..

Driving up to Eaglecrest

Skinning Up..well I'm hiking up.

Nate and Miles taking off their skins..

I fell so many times, I was pretty use to hitting the ground at this point..

skinning up..

Just some photos that Gutschi got of me skinning up the mountain.

Nate & I

Nate let me borrow his skis to practice skinning up

I kept sliding back down the steep slope so I ended up having to zig-zag my way up

:)

oh..just a little light skiing

I went skiing today. And even though it was hard and mostly type II fun, that feeling that you get of just flying over the snow in a straight line is simply perfect. I'm so stoked to go again. For now..I'll leave you with just a few photos of my day. Anna Gutschi got a few good shots of me though and I'll include those in a later post! Oh, and I have a surprise.

Stausi

"The Gutsch" aka Coach

Nate & Gutschi

classy I know..

SURPRISE!!

one week left..

I said it. For the first time since arriving in Alaska I said, I'm ready to go home. I'm sorry for writing this, I know my family and friends want me to come home very much and I apologize if this post makes you a little sad. To be honest, I really do love it here, yesterday was just a bad day. I had plans and they fell through and a series of events just made me upset so I broke down and just felt that if I was home, that this wouldn't have happened. But bad days are everywhere. You can't avoid them. So yeah, yesterday was a bad day, but today was better.

There are two things I miss very much though, and although I try to satisfy my need, it's never enough. I miss Maggie (my dog) and dancing. Whenever I see a dog, I think the owner feels as though I might try and kidnap it! I definitely got some good dog loving today, but again, I can't wait to see my Mag-dirl! And dance, well, BAM is having their performance this weekend which is probably the most exciting thing I do all year. I love my BAMily, I love dancing and feeling the nerves right before you go out on stage. I love working all year on a project and finally being able to share it with the people you care about. Other than this blog I haven't really been able to share anything with the people I care about, dance was always something I could offer.

I want to share all of the photos I've been taking, but unfortunately I have a surprise for many people back home, so you'll just have to wait and see!

One week left!

Sunset over Auke Bay

Gage & I smooching

Sunset on The Towers with a reflection in Montana Creek

what do you love?

So, unfortunately I don't have anything new to report. I received two letters, one from Mam and one from Kristina, I'll be responding to them later tonight or tomorrow. I'll be home in less than two weeks and I can tell that my family is really, very excited. I'm excited to come home and to see my family and a few close friends. Other than that, I'm kinda ambivalent about leaving Alaska. I don't care that Alaska has a high alcoholic population, I don't care that they have the highest suicide rate than any other state, I don't care that the weather is cold or that there's little sunlight here in the winter, I don't care that I'm far from home. I like it here, I like that drama and gossip isn't everyone's main focus, I like watching people live for more than just what is posted on Facebook, tumblr, Instagram, I like looking outdoors and seeing mountains overwhelm my senses and make me feel humble, I like the feeling of cold crisp air on my lips, I like being surrounded by other people who are creating new goals and dreams every single day. I don't care if people think that hiking isn't a career, or that the people I've surrounded myself with make close to nothing, at least the people I surround myself with have something to live for, something that gets them out of bed in the morning and gives them that drive, I live to have a focus and passion and to follow it, maybe not to the end, but at least I'm doing what I love.